Why? *Rant*

I act like everything's perfect, and a lot of the time it's good, but my life is nowhere near perfect. I'm the baby of my family, at fifteen, I am helping take care of my nineteen year old sister. Tonight we had another episode, and I don't know how much more of these I can take. I feel like it's my fault. I never really realized this, but I don't have a lot of true friends, and that's probably because I'm way too different than the people here. I'd like to make YouTube videos, but I don't have a camera and I know people would make fun of me. I also don't show anyone my writing, because they would make fun of me. I'm too different. I want to go somewhere else, but I would never survive in a school I didn't know. I'm too shy and awkward. Man, I just really wanna know why I am dealing with this. I mean, God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. So why do I feel like I can't handle this? Why do I want to just run away and not come back? Is it because I don't fit in? Is it because my own family doesn't understand me? Is it because I'm not sure of ANYTHING? If you read these and need someone to talk to,  I promise I will listen.
(Always the listener, never the talker, right?)
Welp, goodbye, although I don't know who I'm talking to because no one reads these.....

Why?

Why? Why can't I lose weight? I diet all the time, I work out, with band...which isn't really working out, but it takes up all my time so I can't work out. Maybe I should just forget about trying to be skinny. But, it's so hard when I see clothes that I love, yet can't wear. I am going to conquer my weight! I  will do it! And, you guys are going to help me! Well, more like I'm going to help myself cause no one reads these..but yeah. Uhm, nothing really insightful in this blog...Maybe next time!